Unsettle Me

I have been saved for almost 7 years and at this point I thought maybe, just maybe, that I had this thing all figured out…But year after year it seem as though God open my eyes wider and things become clearer and His word keeps becoming real and alive in my life. We read and have read the scripture/scriptures that relate to tribulations, trails and perilous times; I’m sure we shrug our shoulders and say “hey it comes with the cup”. Sure, He warns us of these things and we know they are coming, we even expect them to come, however, it’s not until they come and we are unprepared and unequipped with the rest of the scriptures that tells us how to handle said situations. Why, because we failed to prepare by reading further into his word to realize that we can cast all this junk on him, and that he would give us rest, and that he would rebuke the devourer for our sake, and that if we trust Him in all our ways that he would direct our paths. Really, you mean to tell me that all this that “I” was doing was for nought? LOL, I thank God for dealing with me right where I’m at, whew, this weekend was AMAZING. I attended several events that allowed me to examine myself, I even found myself asking God to do something for me that most people will look at me and say “WHAAAAT”, why would you ask God to UNSETTLE u, and most people want God to settle them.  But, I’m carrying some things within me that literally feel like a big trailer tracker tied to my back….we would relate to this as weight, my God, my God. It doesn’t feel good at all; it causes my heart to be sooooooo heavy, my mind to be spacey and my growth in God to be stagnant. I’m not really one of those people who carry every little thing on my sleeve, per se, I have the tendency to cover things up pretty well, which brings me right into my plea to God:

It seems as though we could spend our whole life trying to find a place to settle down, people to settle down with, and a spirit about us worthy of all this settled down-ness. All of this is good. A contented heart, thankful for its blessings is a good way to settle.

But there are areas of my life that have also settled that mock my desires to be godly woman - compromises if you will. Attitudes that I've wrapped in the lie, "Well, that's just how I am. And if that's all the bad that's in me, I'm doing pretty good."

I dare you, dear soul of mine, to allow the enemy to have that much control over you and not notice the stark evidence of a spirit that is tainted and a heart that must be placed under the microscope of God's Word. Yes, indeed, UNSETTLE me Lord.

Uncover that remnant of unforgiveness.

Shake loose that justification for harshness.

Reveal that broken shard of pride.

Expose that tendency to distrust.

Unsettle me in the best kind of way. For when I allow Your touch to reach the deepest parts of me - dark and dingy and hidden away too long; Lord I surrender! You told me to speak those things that are not as though they are, and I declare and I decree today that:

I can delight in forgiveness and love more deeply.

I can discover my gentle responses and find softer ways for my words to land.

I can recognize the beauty of humility and crave the intimacy with God it unleashes.

I can rest assured though harsh winds blow, I will be kept.

Goodbye to my remnants, my justifications, shards, and tendencies. This is not who I am, nor who I was created to be.

Goodbye shallow love, sharp words, self-focus, and suspicious fears. I am an unsettled woman who no longer wishes to take part in your distractions or destructions.

Welcome deeper love, softer words, unleashed intimacy, and the certainty I am kept.